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I once made a meal of a puffin,
I ate it wrapped up in a muffin,
It tasted of fish,
An unpleasant dish,
A bit like a haddock with fluff-in.
I once took a trip to Rwanda,
On the back of a friendly old panda,
He lived on bamboo,
Which he continued to chew,
From the Congo right up to Uganda.
I once knew a penguin called Frank,
His plumage was tattered and lank,
He smelt of old socks,
And dined out on rocks,
And when he went swimming, he sank.
I once had a cow for a pet,
I got her by losing a bet,
Whilst chewing the cud,
Turned my garden to mud,
I haven't got rid of her yet.
I once took a cruise down the Nile,
We were chased by a large crocodile,
He snapped up a horde,
Who'd slipped overboard,
And then gave a big toothy smile.
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I once met a tiger from China,
On the deck of an ocean-bound liner,
When time came for lunch,
The tiger did munch,
On the captain, his wife and a minor.
Once a recalcitrant lion,
Arrived at my club with no tie on,
When quizzed by the board,
"I've come casual" he roared,
And then ate the chairman, named Brian.
I once had a small salamander,
Alex, short for Alexander,
But his taste wasn't good,
So next time I would,
Add a pinch of sweet coriander.
Now an unwelcome guest for a shepherd,
Is a hungry but unfussy leopard,
The fussy ones though,
Say "No dear, oh no.",
For they like their lamb salted and peppered.
It's not with particular ease,
That one can cook dinner for fleas,
For they'd rather have blood,
Than a nice roasted spud,
With chicken, some gravy and peas.
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