Welcome to the section about Cara, and thanks for sticking with us. You'll notice that this section is mainly about horses and squid, with the odd mention of sausages and big yellow cars, as these are Cara's favourite things. We won't mention that she's turning into a chav, however, because that would be, like, woteva...

Beneath is a selection of odes and rhymes that we've created in honour of our friend Kate, who's also known as 'Chuckles', and tends to smell of oranges (which is actually very nice). Read on, and it will become clear why Kate wants to batter us with every one of her 27 handbags...