Too Many Kooks

Every year famous chefs gather for a dinner
To vote for who's the best and celebrate the winner
All will gulp and gobble lots; no-one leaves here thinner
Vino flows quite freely too - coaxing forth the sinner.

"OI! You git! You foul mouthed prat! You wanna have a fight?"
Gordon Ramsey yelled across at Marco Pierre White
"Not in here you noisy oaf! And stop this swearing shite!"
Said the lady on the door, Clarissa Dixon-Wright

Poor Keithy Floyd, pissed up again, had another fall
He was tripped up by that git, Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall
Ainsley, he kept grinning, oh! he must have had a ball
Until he copped a round house from old Heston Blumenthal

Nigella left with Jamie, both in quite a hurry
Madhur Jaffray hung about, finished off her curry
Anthony double-u T shovelled out his slurry
Rick Stein cried 'Pudding's crap! I'm going for a Flurry'

'Zis is not what I expect!' whinged silly Raymond Blanc
'Shut yer maff' yelled Delia 'and where's the bloody plonk?'
John Torode said 'overcooked' so Burdon punched his conk
And Mitch Tonks said 'it's singular!'; now he's called Mitch Tonk

So they drop their coffee cups and flick away the froth
Spill their beer and throw their wine upon the table cloth
Even though they're old enough to know David Lee Roth -
Once again, too many cooks have spoilt the bloody broth